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Jocelyn Paine

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Operating Systems as Beers

April 05, 2010

Does anybody not know the series of jokes that compare operating systems to beers? For example:

Mac Beer — At first, came in only a 16-oz. can, but now comes in a 32-oz. can. Considered by many to be a "light" beer. All the cans look identical. When you take one from the fridge, it opens itself. The ingredients list is not on the can. If you call to ask about the ingredients, you are told that "you don't need to know." A notice on the side reminds you to drag your empties to the trashcan.

I've seen these reprinted in several computer humour books, and there's a list at AhaJokes.com. But it is out of date. There's AmigaDOS beer, and Windows 95 beer, and OS/2 beer — "You never really see anyone drinking OS/2 Beer, but the manufacturer (International Beer Manufacturing) claims that 9 million six-packs have been sold" — but no Windows 7 beer. I'd try an update myself, but firstly, I only drink real ale, lovingly fermented to maturity within rich oaken casks by craftsmen, so I don't know what pasteurised horrors slosh within these tins; and secondly, I don't have Windows 7. Suggestions anyone? Or is Windows 7 so perfect that all you can say is "rhymes with, and tastes like, Heaven"?

 


Jocelyn Paine
popx@j-paine.org

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