Back to School Daze

When I was in elementary school, this time of year meant a new pair of Converse Chuckies, stiff Levis, and a three-ring binder complete with pencil pack. When I grew up and became a school teacher, I traded the Levis for Dockers and Chuckies for Prozac. These days, none of this--Prozac notwithstanding--seems to make the grade in back-to-school.

Consider the Westinghouse Digital Electronics "ultimate" back-to-school package--a "complete Computer/TV system, which includes a laptop computer and 19-inch HD-Ready LCD TV." And why would you want your kid to have this? (Hey, we already know why the kid would want it.) Well, according to Westinghouse, this ultimate package will "help [the kids] achieve those coveted A+ grades and provide a great way to enjoy well-earned free time." Now speaking as a former student, I can relate to the well-earned free time. The A+ grades? Ah, that’s another thing.

The Westinghouse LTV-19w6 is a 19-inch HD-Ready 1440x900 Widescreen TV includes two HD Inputs and Integrated speakers. The display can be used as a TV, a computer monitor, and a display device for viewing DVDs and playing online and computer games. Of course, "having the two screens promotes increased productivity and allows for the multi-tasking environment the student of today demands." Hmm, sounds like promotional material for vocational school, turning fourth-graders into programmers. Of course, multiple monitors works for Bill Gates, who’s is a believer in multiple monitors . If it worked for Billy, it ought to work for Dick, Jane, and Sally.

Rey Roque, Vice President of Marketing at Westinghouse Digital Electronics, explains the benefits of the program: "The Westinghouse bundle we created for the back-to-school market provides students with the tools necessary to compete and stay ahead in the technology-driven academic race of the 21st century," he says. "The bundle provides a high-end, yet affordable solution that will enable students to maximize their academic pursuits and also utilize the system for entertainment purposes as well." To say nothing of Westinghouse third quarter sales reports.

To be fair, Westinghouse Digital isn’t alone in back-to-school scams. Best Buy lists the back-to-school college essentials as laptop, cell phones, dorm fridges, and iPods. No Chuckies, no books, no pencils. As for high-school students, Best Buy says all of the above, plus a digital camera. And for elementary kids, all they need are CD boomboxes that look like Disney cartoon characters.

Posted by Jon Erickson at 11:22 AM  Permalink