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Borland Revelations

Jan04: The New Adventures of Verity Stob

—Attendee blogging Borcon to the official borland.public.conference newsgroup.

Verity is the pseudonym of a programmer based in the UK. She can be contacted at [email protected]

1. And when the Sons of Kahn, who were also called the Borlandites, and who dwelt in the valley of Scotts, found that they had been toiling together for one score years, they spake one unto another, saying: Let us throw a party to celebrate.

2. Then the Sons of Kahn went out unto their web site, and unto their newsgroups, and unto their customer database, too. And in all these places they did call out, saying: Come, friends, to our birthday party in San Jose. Dress informal. Bring $1,300.

3. And they did book the McEnery Convention Center, which offers 143,000 square feet of column-free prime exhibit space, up to 30 meeting rooms capable of seating up to 2,400 theater-style and, I confidently wager though in all honesty the web site is silent on this one, more overhead projector screens than you can shake a stick at.

4. And it came to pass that a great hoard of Users descended upon the Convention Center, where they did register and collect their Welcome Packs. And among this hoard of Users there were three companions, being a User of Kylix (Pascal), a User of C++ Builder, and a User of Delphi.

Ordeal of the Kylix User

1. And once they had all been to the hotel to check in and freshen up, the User of Kylix went forth in search of the Sons of Kahn. And when he came upon them, he cried out unto them, saying: O Sons of Kahn, twelve full months ago you did releaseth a release of Kylix.

2. And since that time the tribe that is led by Linus the Finn hath been busy, yeah, as busy as the busy honeybee that plunders the perfumed blooms of summer to fill the waxy comb with sweetness.

3. And the limpid releases of Linux have flowed forth each in its season, and the disties have moved onward. And it has come to pass that Kylix no longer sitteth firmly upon the bedrock of Linux. The linker it linkereth not, under some conditions, and there are some problems with the File Openeth dialog in the IDE, and that is just for starters.

4. All this spake the User of Kylix. And the User spake again, saying: Here are my upgrade dollars, which burneth a hole in my outer garment. When cometh the next release?

5. And the Sons of Kahn replied: That is for us to know and for you to find out.

6. And the User spake again, saying: Windeth not me up.

7. And the Sons of Kahn temporised: Let it go, move on. Nowhere in our slides does it actually say that we are abandoning Kylix.

8. And the User spake not, but looked hard upon the Sons of Kahn.

9. And then the Sons of Kahn spake again, saying: Well if you must know, we aren't going to touch it until 2005, at the very earliest.

10. And the User spake, saying: Oh. And he sat down, and looked thoughtful.

Ordeals of the Other Users

1. And the User of C++ Builder came also unto the Sons of Kahn, and she cried out, saying: O Sons of Kahn, what have you got for me?

2. (For by tradition the token female is nearly always a C++ programmer, presumably because C++ programmers are brainier. Check out the pronouns in C/C++ Users Journal and also in the ACCU periodicals if thou thinketh I make this up to tease.)

3. And the Sons of Kahn replied, saying: Glad you asked, because you are going to love this. It's called C++ BuilderX, and it's cross platform, and we've got a new ANSI compiler that copes with Boost.

4. And the User spake politely, saying: Wonderful.

5. And the Sons of Kahn went on, saying: Yes, and there's a Java IDE and a new framework called wxWindows, which replaces that nasty old Pascal VCL.

6. And the User interrupted, saying: Whoa there. How does this help with my old VCL apps? How can I change them? Have you any tools to help convert my old code?

7. And the Sons of Kahn replied, saying: That is for us to know and for you to find out.

8. And the User of C++ Builder spake, saying: Ugh.

9. And the Sons of Kahn snuck away, saying: Oh look, there is a User of Delphi. O User of Delphi, how would you like a brand new compiler based on the .NET system of the Microsoftees?

10. And the User of Delphi, for verily it was he, replied: Well, that might be interesting down the line. Although, if we did do any .NET stuff, chances are we would use C#. No offence. You'll never guess who designed it for the Microsoftees.

11. And the Sons of Kahn spake, saying: We had heard.

12. And the User changed the subject, saying: Anyway, when cometh my new native compiler?

13. And the Sons of Kahn replied, saying: That is for us to know...

14. And the User of Delphi was verily smacked about the mouth, saying: Us, too? Golly.

A Great Prophet Remembered

1. And then all three Users looked down upon the tribe of the Sons of Kahn. And they saw that everywhere they looked, there were Microsoftees. And they saw that the Microsoftees seemed to move in amongst and around the Sons of Kahn unhindered.

2. And it was even as the grubs of the wax moth move unchallenged amongst the honeybees of the hive.

3. And the Sons of Kahn saw where they were looking and said unto all the Users: Behold! This is only healthy co-ompetition. We work with other companies, too. We have not lost the plot.

4. But the Users had cause to remember the wisdom of the great prophet M'andee-rice Davies.* And they all trooped home to ponder what had passed, and to be sad.


*Googlable as "Mandy Rice-Davies"

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