What can we do about this? Here are a few suggestions:
- Take responsibility for our own actions. We're adults and we can choose to change. It's not reasonable to expect everyone to be perfect, but it is reasonable to expect people to improve themselves over time. Considering that we're a community which promotes communication, collaboration, and process improvement, it seems reasonable that we can find ways to learn together to improve the quality of the conversations which we have.
- Help others to improve. We're in this together. Sometimes debates get heated and people will make mistakes from time to time, and we need to recognize that this is okay. When someone strays from polite and respectful conversation it's reasonable to point that out to them. One of the reasons why I described the role anti-patterns earlier was to provide a lexicon that we can use to identify such slip-ups. "Mike, you sound like an Unjustified Criticizer when you say that, can you expand more on your comments?" is a fair response to someone.
- List administrators must lead effectively. List admins must set some straightforward and fair rules and then help people to follow those rules. It's possible to do that without becoming a List Dictator. When I started the Agile Modeling mailing list in late 2000 I set some simple rules which implored people to be polite and respectful, and I can honestly say that in all but a small number of cases this has worked incredibly well for us. Other lists can do the same, and I invite other admins to look at www.agilemodeling.com/feedback.htm#Rules and adopt what they see fit.
As Walt Kelly's cartoon character Pogo aptly said, "We have met the enemy and he is us." If the agile movement is to continue to grow we need to help existing traditionalists understand and learn agile philosophies and techniques. This isn't going to happen if we continue to embarrass ourselves the first time that they interact with us. We are capable of having reasonable, polite, and interesting conversations with one another on discussion lists. It merely requires that we show respect for one another and our differing opinions; have the humility to recognize that we don't have all of the answers and therefore should listen to others; and that most importantly we understand that people judge us primarily on our actions and not our words, so therefore we much live up to our high ideals surrounding individuals and interactions.
I invite you to make the following New Year's resolution: "This year I will improve the tone of my conversation on discussion lists and in other public forums, and that when I see others struggle to do the same I will do whatever is appropriate to respectfully help them to improve their own tone." If you believe that this is a worthy resolution, I invite you to share this idea with others. The publisher of this newsletter, Dr. Dobb's Journal, has generously agreed to allow people to repost this material to any public discussion group which you interact on (please don't repost it if someone else has done so already). Every little bit helps.
Have a happy holiday and a great New Year.
I'd like to acknowledge the help of Michael Vizdos and Brian Lyons of Number Six for their insightful feedback which I incorporated into this newsletter.
