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Mark Nelson

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Comedy Central In My Spam Folder

August 26, 2008

For reasons I can't entirely explain, I seem to pay a lot of attention to the spam folder in my email. I have an insatiable desire to find false positives, and as a result I spend a lot of time looking at the messages that get past my slam-dunk filters.

For the most part, reading through spam subject lines is breathtakingly tedious - hundreds of intentionally mistyped variations on stock scams, drugs for erectile dysfunction, and all the usual phishing suspects.

Spammers Step It Up

In the month of August, though, I actually found that I have to tip my hat to a spam campaign. A nice series of spam emails found its way into my folder, all of which were prefixed with something along the lines of CNN Breaking News. A representative list of these headlines is shown here:

  • John McCain Selects Laura Bush As His Vice President
  • Hillary Clinton Gets Night Job‎ -
  • Nazi Toddlers Ruined My Birthday
  • Paris Hilton Initially Denies Having Inverted Nipples
  • McCain And Bush To Dance In Puppet Show
  • Paris Hilton To Operate New Atom Smasher
  • John McCain Eats A Bug‎
  • Teenage Girl obviously Having Affair With Bat‎
  • [audio] Church Group Offers Homosexual New Life In Closet‎
  • John McCain Kicks Lilly Ledbetter In The Crotch
  • Nation Morns The Tragic Loss Of Britney Spears
  • Osama Bin Laden caught finally
  • Oprah found sleeping the streets‎
  • Bulgarian diplomat arrested with 0.4kg of plutonium‎
  • Britney found hanged in locker room‎
  • 6 Ways Airlines Could Make Some Serious Money of You
  • What Annoyed Us About The Olympic Opening Ceremony
  • Favre gets unconditional reverse deactivation restriction
  • Four Horseman of the Apocalypse Split; ‘Pestilence to go Solo'‎
  • Cranberries CD Cures Woman's Urinary Tract Infection
  • McCain Endorses Bush For 3rd Term‎
  • Black Activists Line Up To Take Swipe At Obama
  • Scientist Prepare to Colonize Redneck Area
  • Mary-Kate Olsen implicated in Heath Ledger's death‎

I don't know about you, but I'd read just about any one of these articles if it were authentic! If these are being generated by a program, I'm impressed. If they're human in origin, the guy/gal  needs to get a new career writing for the tabloids. I mean, some of these are pretty brilliant. The Four Horseman split up? Cranberries CDs cure UTIs? Awesome!





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